It’s tough being pregnant on the best of days. But being pregnant when you already have a toddler in tow and a job on the line — that’s a whole different kind of challenge. It’s certainly not impossible. Strong, capable women like you do it every day. But it’s good to go into this time in your life with a clear head and some tips from someone who’s been there before you. Here are five things to keep in mind when you’re pregnant, working, and raising a family.

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS

You’re having a new baby. That changes everything. It’s tough keeping a house clean when you’re working and have a busy toddler, but it’s darn near impossible when you have a baby bump in the way. The house doesn’t have to be spotless. It doesn’t even have to be tidy. Clean laundry that never makes it into a dresser is still clean. Kids fed food off of paper plates are still fed. This is a tough period, mama. But it won’t last forever. Figure out what’s important to you, prioritize your time and energy, and let the rest go. If it comes down to a nap or matching socks, don’t feel guilty about choosing the nap.

GET YOUR TODDLER INVOLVED

Toddlers and preschoolers love to be needed. If you haven’t already, try to involve them in household tasks like folding and putting away laundry, washing dishes, and making dinner. They won’t do it perfectly — and that’s OK. They might even make a huge mess in the process. But giving them little responsibilities lets them have more time with you (which they love), and makes them feel like the big kids they are.

BE HONEST

If you’re struggling, be honest about it — especially with your doctor. Pregnancy can come with a lot of discomforts, but if you don’t feel well, you’re tired, or you’re scared of what’s next, your health care provider can help you find resources and offer support for things like quitting smoking, finding childbirth or parenting classes, or connecting with other moms going through a similar experience.

ASK FOR HELP

Seriously. It might seem obvious to you, but people don’t always realize you need help until you ask for it. So don’t be shy. Ask your partner to get up early with your toddler so you can get a little more sleep. Ask that stranger to lift those heavy grocery bags into your car. Ask your boss for a flexible work schedule or a parking space closer to the building. You might feel like you’re bugging them, but many people are happy to help — especially if they care about you.

YOU MATTER, TOO

“Self-care” gets talked about so often on mommy blogs it can lose its meaning after a while. But think of it this way: When you’re on an airplane, you’re supposed to put your own mask on first in case of emergency before helping someone else. That’s because you can help a lot more people when you have the oxygen you need.

Taking care of yourself means you’ll be more able to take care of the people who depend on you. So make sure you get a few bites of food in you before you portion it out onto everyone else’s plates. Take an extra few minutes to yourself in the car before picking up your child from daycare. And do what you need to do for you.